Early today God had a message for the human race. This is what he said “Wow I take one 40 year vacation from babysitting your little asses and this is how you repay me? By destroying the fantastic planet I gave to you as a fucking gift. I was fine with you building cities to… Continue reading Breaking News: God breaks long standing silence with humanity.
“I really am excited for the Back to the Future movies I really think they will be as good as the original three.” Says classic movie fan who has seen them all and hates anything modern. “To me it looks like they are going to be smart with the re release of these movies as… Continue reading Classic movie fan can’t wait for reboot of movie.
Deep down in the very depths of the human race's most dark and desirable place lies a government that operates above the law but doesn’t break any rules and doesn’t pull any real governmental strings, no, no this shadow government just does the government's jobs they are known as pornhub first they seem harmless. Then… Continue reading PornHub Shadow Government?
Tom I’m here on a deserted oil rig in the Pacific ocean where the U.N. has just announced a new way of dealing with wars. The new strategy came after a conversation about a war that took many lives all around to stop that from happening again. The solution was right in front of them… Continue reading World Leaders Wrestling League
“Tom I’m here outside the White House where president Donald Trump cannot decide which character to put on during today's press conference. He is trying on different ties and saying things like “The news is fine I was wrong.” and ‘I hate the media so much you are so mean to me how could you.”… Continue reading Donald having trouble which character to put on today
Hello all future members of the Church of God’s love. We call it this because God loves us and only us. All of those other churches are liars and frauds by saying god loves them, because god loves us. But we digress we are a small church that rewards those who follow our every command.… Continue reading The church of Jesus’s eternal love.
“Tom I’m here in Louisiana where the KKK has made a monumental step in repairing race relations. Yes, that’s right Tom the KKK is working toward repairing hurt race relationships. This means that the KKK will now be accepting non-white members effective immediately I asked the grand grand wizard for a comment. ‘Well I just… Continue reading KKK accepting non white members
From critically acclaimed writer J.K. Rowling a new adventure set in the old world of Harry Potter with a brand new cast of fun and lovable character you have Main character who everyone loves and looks up two and the other two fuckers who no one really cares about. Have you ever wondered what the… Continue reading From the writer… J.K. Rowling
Early today President Donald Trump arrived in Beijing to meet with the Chinese president. Donald has a strict policy of America first so it was no surprise to anyone when he first walked up on stage and instead of shaking hands with the president he instead squinted his eyes extremely tight and said to the… Continue reading Donald Trump meeting with the Chinese leader.
Earlier today God created a Twitter profile to try and stay in contact with humanity better, but within minutes he soon realized how absolutely screwed his humanity project was. He then went on a Twitter rant asking where he had gone wrong then proceeded to answer his own question by saying “I know it was… Continue reading God on Twitter