Bill Gates

Microsoft’s’ secret underground headquarters.
“Tom I’m down here with Microsoft owner Bill Gates where he has revolutionized the bodyguard industry. He has hired behind me two Mexican men and has given them two high powered sniper rifles that shoot blood diamonds, yes Tom you heard me right blood diamonds I asked Bill about these strange tactics. ‘Well, Hank I just didn’t feel like one Mexican with a blood diamond sniper rifle was enough so now I have two of them roaming my property and I feel that should be enough to protect my personal stash of blood diamonds.’ said Bill Gates. Now Tom I know you have other questions like where he gets the blood diamonds don’t worry I covered it. ‘Well, I hired an African warlord to kidnap children to work in the mines of Chad, and now I get at least 50 blood diamonds a month at the low low cost of ten children a month which is pretty good it actually decreases the amount of dead children from 20 a month which is nice.’ I asked some of the workers how they get paid. ‘I get paid with minimum wage I have killed 13 people so far and I was in the military and I used to be a neurosurgeon in my home country.’ Now Tom this is revolutionary in millionaire home protection services Tom we can expect to see every millionaire and billionaire to have this system. This is just one of many examples of Bill Gates and Microsoft paving the way to the future for the extremely wealthy.

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