Earlier today God created a Twitter profile to try and stay in contact with humanity better, but within minutes he soon realized how absolutely screwed his humanity project was. He then went on a Twitter rant asking where he had gone wrong then proceeded to answer his own question by saying “I know it was when I left to go hang out with Cthulhu and Satan to play mini golf for 1,000 years what’d you call it? The dark ages? Yeah, that.” He then presumably got drunk because he then typed up a small paragraph that said. “You know I really like dogs they’re so pure like so happy.” End of the first tweet the second one was a little more insulting to people. “People suck I want all the dogs back and I’ve already asked Jesus when the rapture happens to just leave all the people and bring all the dogs he can carry and use like his magic and such.” This went on for several hours then we saw that Jesus had been live tweeting the whole scene so we looked at the latest one. “My dad just barged into my room and said screw humans grab dogs when the rapture happens. #lol.” We will have to see whether or not god will forgive us for our sins but I am completely fine because all reports work for Satan.